(not so) straight-talk about cinema
about me
JAY HIRO BROWN is a writer, film enthusiast and professional homosexual.
He is a horror nerd and connoiseur of so-bad-it’s-good cinema - the campier the better. But don’t be fooled: though his MO may be silly, he is very serious about film, and attacks his reviews with an academic mindset. His dream is to be a filmmaker and show everyone exactly how it should be done.
For reasons that escape him, he lives in London.
latest posts
HAMNET: To cry or not to cry? There is no question…
Let’s just establish, for the purposes of this review, that William Shakespeare’s Hamlet is like… the greatest work of literature...
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AVATAR: FIRE AND ASH: As the Sully family retread familiar ground, Quaritch counters his blue balls with a hot piece of ash
THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS. I find myself in a difficult position with the Avatar franchise. I enjoyed the first: the...
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MARTY SUPREME: Timmy T is on tip-top form in this ping-pong nightmare of epic proportions
THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS. If you don’t know Marty Mauser, I suggest you head to the cinema and get...
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Homo Film Bro’s Tops of 2025
So we have come to the end of another year of cinema. Whilst America feasts on Oscar hopefuls in November...
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FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY’S 2: Jim Henson is the best ghost haunting this plotless sequel that proves Scott Cawthon is NOT a screenwriter
THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS. I have a confession to make. I… am a Five Nights at Freddy’s fan. Not...
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XTRO: Like a lost 80s Doctor Who episode – with more blood, boobs & birthing
Anyone who knows me is surely aware that I am something of a connoisseur of camp, a lover of terrible,...
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PILLION: I saw the horniest film of the year with a room full of old straight people (spoiler: they walked out)
I saw Pillion a few weeks ago as part of Odeon’s Screen Unseen program, where they show upcoming films before...
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WICKED: FOR GOOD: Glinda will never know if it’s green in this tragic yuri that never was
THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS. After the shortest gap between a film and its sequel we have seen in about...
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BUGONIA: Emma Stone is snatched bald after Jesse Plemons clocks her alien tea
THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS. Yorgos Lanthimos has carved an incredibly niche, and wonderfully distinct, place for himself in modern...
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